Malfunction Mayhem
by DragonShadow
Summary: Zim tries to reprogram GIR to be a combat machine, but the reprogramming is far from perfect.


Malfunction Mayhem  
  
  
  
The cold, unfriendly steel that made up the lab felt perfectly at home for the small green invader who now revolved his life around the future conquests that seemed inevitable. He would never give up, he would see those filthy, miserable humans bow down before him and beg him to lead them. Especially the only thorn in his side... Dib. He would make that boy pay for his repeated interferences in his plans. Zim swore it on his life and abilities as an Irken.  
  
"Wheeeee!" Zim jumped back just in time to avoid GIR, who flew right in front of him, swinging from one of the wires of the lab like it was a fine in a forest. The invader shook his head and stared at the little robot, quirking one eyebrow and smirking. The robot's eyes glowed bright blue and it had a wide grin on its face.  
  
"GIR, will you stop that!? I'm trying to think of a new plan!" Zim exclaimed angrily, balling his fists up at his sides. "And I can't do that while you're running around and messing things up."  
  
"Oh, can I help?" GIR asked, running up to him with an eager smile. Zim stared down at him with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"YOU help make a plan? What would that be, watching TV until the world just decides to worship us?" Zim scoffed.  
  
"I can do SOMETHING..." GIR pouted, sticking out one silver lip and putting his hands behind his back. His eyes started shimmering in different shades of blue like water building up behind them. "I have weapons and stuff..." He commented softly.  
  
"You don't use them, you're too soft... hmm..." Zim put one hand on his chin, his antennae twitching as he thought. "You know, GIR... maybe I've been looking in the wrong places for effective weapons." He grinned, staring down at his robotic sidekick. GIR stared back, blinking in confusion. "Come here GIR, I want to test your physical abilities." He turned to head deeper into the lab.  
  
"Oh yay! Can we play Scrabble!?" GIR asked, running after him excitedly. In a few minutes Zim put him on a conveyer belt with handlebars on either side. GIR looked down at it curiously, tugging at the wires that poked out of his metal shell to run into the console Zim was in front of.  
  
"Now I want to test your speed, start running." Zim commanded, reaching down and pushing a lever up slightly. The conveyer started moving, forcing GIR to start walking along with it.  
  
"Can't we just go to the park for a walk?" GIR asked innocently. Zim ignored him and pushed the conveyer a little faster, staring down at the console that monitored GIR's energy output. He pushed the lever up steadily, watching the speed climb to 150 without any sign from GIR that he was having trouble. When he looked at the energy output however he noticed it was minimal. He tapped the monitor, then looked up at GIR again.  
  
The little robot sat on the handrails watching the conveyer speed by below him with a curious gaze. He pulled his arm off and dropped it on the belt. The momentum of the conveyer sent the metal arm flying off back toward the window to plunge right through the glass, shattering it. GIR gave a small shriek of delight and laughed hysterically.  
  
"Now I remember why I never tried this before..." Zim said under his breath, glaring at his little companion. "Come on GIR, grab your arm and let's try something else." He turned to leave, leaving GIR to leap through the glass, grab his arm, and follow.  
  
Zim attached several different wires to his metal frame and walked over to the control panel, pushing a lever down to bring down a bar from the ceiling over GIR. "Now you try to hold that bar up no matter how much force is applied, got it?"  
  
"Yes sir!" GIR gave a salute and put his hands up, gripping the steel bar over his head. Zim pushed the lever down and the mechanical arm started pushing down on GIR, who held it up without too much difficulty. He increased the pressure and watched the little robot struggle to keep holding it up with a curious eye. He withstood more pressure than Zim had thought he could, holding up several hundred pounds before the strain started to crush him.  
  
"Hm, not too bad." Zim let up the pressure and started to raise the bar, but GIR still held onto it, being carried up several dozen feet in the air. He squealed and kicked his legs around delightfully, looking around at the things that hung suspended around him. "GIR! Let go of that thing and get down here!" Zim demanded. GIR let go of the bar and dropped to the floor with a loud metallic clanging sound.  
  
"Wheeehehehe..." GIR exclaimed, leaping to his feet and wobbling a bit. "My ears are ringing."  
  
"Come on GIR focus, I have one more test to try." Zim grabbed his arm and pulled him over to a shooting gallery, attaching several more wires to him. "Now activate your weaponry." He commanded.  
  
"Yes sir!" GIR saluted and his head opened quickly, several weapons springing out at once. Zim jumped to the side just as one blast shot out from one of the weapons. He glared down at GIR angrily, who was smiling embarrassedly and running one foot over the ground.  
  
"Aim at the TARGET and see how many times you can hit it." Zim pointed down the long shooting gallery to the target that sat at the end, looking a lot like Dib's face, and already had several holes in it. GIR stared at it for a moment, his eyes glowing red as the targeting program dominated his system. The weapons on his head all fired in unison, the blasts all connecting at one point, right in the center. Dib's picture was blown into bits smaller than Zim could see.  
  
Zim gaped in surprise as the weapons withdrew and GIR's eyes reverted to their normal blue hue. "It looks like all your systems function properly except your brain... but maybe I can fix that." He grabbed GIR by the arm and dragged him over to another part of the lab, strapping him to the table.  
  
"Ooohhhh are we going to play doctor?" GIR asked.  
  
"Exactly, I'm gonna be a real good doctor. So be a good patient and shut yourself down." Zim demanded. GIR blinked, staring up at him like he was going insane. "I command you to go into standby mode while I conduct repairs on your systems!" He demanded.  
  
"Oh, why didn't you say so?" GIR giggled and lied back on the table, his eyes slowly fading to black. Zim smiled and pulled a tray full of tools to his side as he reaching up to GIR's head and began his work.  
  
Time passed and Zim continued to try to rewire and reprogram almost every part of GIR's central processing system. He was careful not to touch any physical systems though, it was only the brain he wanted to repair. The work was long and hard, made more confusing by the fact that it almost seemed like his systems were thrown together haphazardly and in a rushed manner. He knew though that this was probably just a trick in case anyone managed to get into GIR's systems, to fool them into thinking they were bad at robotics.  
  
"Yes, yes, finally! I have the tool I need to destroy that meddlesome stinking human once and for all!" Zim announced as he reached up and activated GIR's systems once again. The tiny robot springs to life, leaping off the table with a spectacular flip to land on his feet. His eyes are glowed red, with no sign of the former blue tint they usually held. "Success!" Zim shouted triumphantly, raising his hand to the air.  
  
"What is your mission master?" GIR's voice sounded more robotic and less innocent than normal... which Zim took as even further proof that he had succeeded in fixing whatever the problem had been.  
  
"Go, destroy Dib once and for all!" Zim grinned, pointing to the teleporters that led up to the house. GIR started to turn and head for them, but Zim stopped him just before he got there. "And don't let anybody see you, we still have to remain undetected by this planets authorities!" Zim started to laugh an evil, triumphant laugh as GIR took the teleporter up to the house and left on his mission.  
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Gaz sat on the couch, staring at the TV with a blank expression on her face. She was getting tired of Dib's little obsession with the supernatural, nine times out of ten it wound up costing her something. So she took it in stride, trying not to kill him though she desperately wanted to on occasion. It was especially bad when Zim was involved, but again she tried to get by.  
  
Without warning the front door burst inward and a small metal robot marched inside, the top of its head opening to reveal several different kinds of weapons pointing right at her. Its eye were glowing bright red, it's entire body seeming to glow under their light. "Must destroy Dib!" It announced.  
  
"He's not home right now." Gaz grunted, turning back to the TV. GIR stared at her for a moment before the weapons withdrew back inside of its head.  
  
"I'll wait." It walked over and jumped up on the couch, sitting and staring at the TV much like Gaz, who barely paid attention to it. They sat for a few minutes just staring at the TV companionably enough. GIR looked over at her for a moment, but looked back at the TV when she glanced over at it. This was repeated several times before she finally lost it.  
  
"What is your problem?" She demanded, glaring at the little robot sitting beside her. Its eyes had turned a light pink color and it held a small bouquet of flowers out toward her. "You have got to be kidding me..." She took the flowers from it, glaring at it in disbelief as the front door opened.  
  
"Geeze nobody in this town has a brain... YAAAHHH! What's that doing here!?" Dib screamed when he saw GIR sitting on the couch wit his sister. Instantly GIR whirled on him, its eyes turning blood red once again as it perched on the arm of the couch.  
  
"Destroy Dib!" GIR yelled as it launched itself off the couch and slammed into Dib, sending them both to the ground in a wild melee. Gaz watched them somewhat disinterestedly and looked down at the bouquet, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.  
  
"Why me..." Gaz hopped off the couch and walked over to where GIR was sitting on Dib's back, trying to yank his head off backwards as he desperately struggled to hold it on.  
  
"My head my head my head!" Dib exclaimed, groaning and trying to pry GIR off of him. Gaz walked up to the robot and smacked it in the back with the bouquet to get its attention. It looked up at her evilly, but its eyes quickly turned pink again and it released Dib's head, getting off of him and running one metallic foot over the carpet nervously.  
  
"Alright, what happened to you to make you like me... and try to kill my brother?" Gaz asked irritably. Dib looked up at her in surprise, then down at GIR who did indeed look like he was blushing with the pink light coming from his eyes.  
  
"He likes you? Zim's robot?" Dib asked, climbing to his feet with one hand on his throat, staring at GIR in surprise. "Hey, we have Zim's robot! We can blow his secret out of the water now! We have physical evidence that he's an alien!" Dib yammered, growing more excited with each passing moment. Gaz just put one hand on his cheek and shoved him away into the wall with a thud, staring down at the robot.  
  
"I don't know..." GIR scratched his head and shrugged, clueless. "My master told me to destroy Dib so I came here and... found you. You looked like Dib to my scanner thingies."  
  
"Similar DNA I guess." Dib grumbled, glaring at Gaz as he brushed himself off from his tumble against the wall.  
  
"That's a scary thought." Gaz commented, sighing. "Well come on Gir, we'd better go take you back to Zim and get him to fix you so you can stop bugging me... and hunting my brother."  
  
"Take him back!?" Dib exclaimed in surprise. "But he's what we need, people will believe us if we show them a real talking cyborg!" Gaz ignored him and started toward the door with GIR following right behind. "Gaz come on think about this a minute!" He rushed after her, but as he passed GIR kicked him in the shin, sending him flying to the ground outside the house.  
  
"Destroy Dib!" GIR exclaimed, starting to tackle him again. Gaz grabbed the back of his head and held him back though, staring down at her older brother.  
  
"I rest my case." Gaz told him, turning to haul GIR with her down the street, leaving Dib on the lawn in front of their house.  
  
"Hey, hold on, at least let me come! You don't know what Zim is capable of!" Dib leapt to his feet and ran after her, catching up to them after a minute. GIR glared up at him with blood red eyes, then up at Gaz with bright pink ones. He shot one foot out without looking and tripped Dib, sending him to the sidewalk again. "Will you stop that!?"  
  
"Didn't seeeee yooouuuu." GIR whistled as he walked, holding onto Gaz's hand like a child being led by a parent. Gaz just ignored the exchange, looking forward to getting the little pest out of her hair. Dib got up and ran after them again, not wanting to be left behind.  
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Zim was still cackling to himself as he worked on the computer system deep in his hidden base. He'd been trying to get him off his back for awhile only to find the way to do it was right in front of him the whole time. Oh well, it would finally be done and GIR would be more effective and useful than ever. He loved being a genius at robotics.  
  
He looked up when he saw the censor activate, but the green light indicated that it was just GIR returning from his mission. "Excellent, that was quick and easy." He ran over to the exit and shot up through the tube that linked the lab to the house. He came up out of the trash can and ran into the living room, screeching to a halt and screaming when he saw Dib and Gaz with him. "GIR! What are you doing bringing those stinking humans in here!?"  
  
"I think your robots broken, you should fix it." Gaz booted GIR toward Zim, sending him flying through the air to land on his head.  
  
"What do you mean broken!? GIR works better than ever thanks to... me..." He watched as the robot crawled back over to Gaz, wrapping its arms and legs around her leg and clinging to it fiercely. She put her hands on her hips and glared at the alien with a very distinct look. "GIR! Get back over here!" He screamed. The robot nearly leapt out of its shell, letting go to rush over to Zim's side. He glared down at it angrily.  
  
"What's the matter Zim? Cross a few wires?" Dib snickered, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking.  
  
"That's enough out of you stinking human-filth! Well, since I have you both in my lair where I control everything, might as well take advantage of it. Computer, detain them!" Zim jammed one finger toward Dib and Gaz, grinning evilly. Several metallic arms flew out of the walls and floor, lunging at the brother and sister.  
  
"Hey! I knew you couldn't be trusted Zim!" Dib screamed as several arms grabbed him by the limbs, hauling him into the air. Another arm came out of the roof and grabbed him allowing the others to retrace into the walls. Gaz joined him in a moment, hanging suspended in the air with a downright evil smirk on her face, glaring at Zim.  
  
"Of course not!" Zim shouted up at him, grinning triumphantly. "I must admit this wasn't how I planned for it to work but it actually worked out very nicely." He let out a barking laugh, looking down at GIR who was still huddled by his feet. "Nice work GIR."  
  
Dib looked over at Gaz and whispered furiously. "Hey, you have to get GIR to let us out of here."  
  
"How?" Gaz asked.  
  
"He still likes you, talk sweet or something." Dib replied. Gaz turned to glare at him with her standard cold look, looking nothing like a girl who would act that way. "Come on, it's that or we'll probably wind up being tortured by some hideous alien torture device that'll turn us into zombies and make us help in his plans to take over the world!"  
  
Gaz hung there and thought for a few moments. "That doesn't sound too bad." She commented.  
  
"Gaz! Come on! He'll probably never let you play games again." Dib told her in a sly tone of voice. Gaz gasped and her eyes went wide, staring at him in horror. "Come on Gaz, a few sweet words and we can stop Zim with him own assistant." Dib told her. She smirked and looked down at the small robot sitting beside Zim.  
  
"You two stop plotting, it's futile against my genius!" Zim exclaimed, raising one fist into the air. The four metallic spider-like appendages spread from his metal backpack, touching to the ground and lifting the alien in the air, glowering at them as he was lifted up so his head was level with theirs. "So tell me Dib, how are you going to stand in my way now?"  
  
Gaz rolled her eyes and smirked in disgust, looking down at the little robot. "Pssst, GIR." She whispered too softly for Zim or her brother to hear. GIR though, however stupid, had much better hearing than either of them. Its head shot up and it looked at her, its blood red eyes fading into light pink as a nervous smile crossed its face. "Hey, get me down from here."  
  
"But my master wouldn't want that..." GIR said, scratching his head.  
  
"Be quiet GIR! I'm gloating! Mwahahaha!" Zim laughed, still staring down Dib who was staring back with an intense look on his face.  
  
"Come on..." Gaz paused for a moment, sneering before she spoke again, tilting her head slightly to the side and speaking in an almost gentle tone. "Please?" GIR's mouth opened in a small "O", staring up at her with its eyes glowing an even brighter pink. The robot suddenly leapt from the ground, rebounding off the wall with surprising precision and latching onto the arm that held her suspended in the air.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing!?" Zim demanded, whirling on the robot with a scathing glare.  
  
"I'm... uh..." GIR's head twitched slightly and it looked down at Gaz, who was hanging from the arm just below him.  
  
"Come on GIR, get me out of here!" Gaz exclaimed in her normal tone of voice.  
  
"You can't tell him what to do human! He serves ME!" Zim told her triumphantly, looking up at GIR. "GIR, take them down to the lab so we can begin some experiments on these things."  
  
GIR looked over at Zim with blood red eyes, then down at Gaz with bright pink ones. It looked back and forth, its entire body twitching until finally its eyes began to spin like a wheel with flashes of red and pink. It let out a wild, excited scream as a surge of electricity surged from its body into the metal arm holding Gaz.  
  
"Oh this isn't good... GGEEEEERK!" Gaz let out a shocked scream as the electricity flowed into her, also flowing up into the walls of the house.  
  
"A power surge! The entire house is going to start malfunctioning! GIR emergency shut down!" Zim exclaimed, lunging toward the tiny robot with his spider legs. Gir scrambled up the metallic arm to hang onto it close to the ceiling. Zim touched one spider-leg to the arm to climb it, but a surge of energy ran through it and through him.  
  
"Oh great going Zim, going to get us ALL keeeeeai!" Dib let out a scream as the surge traveled down the metallic arm holding him and began to run through him as well.  
  
"Serves you right miserable creature! If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have to resort to using GIR as a weapon... whoa!" Zim leapt back as the arms in the ceiling began to spin, sending both Gaz and Dib spinning around the room like a ferris wheel gone mad.  
  
"Woooheeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" GIR screamed, almost seeming to enjoy it, from his perch on the mechanical arm holding Gaz, his entire body pulsing with red and pink colored energy.  
  
"Geet meeee oooofffff heeeere!" Dib screamed both from the incessant spinning and the power still surging through him. Zim smirked and reached back into his backpack, pulling out a laser torch with a red tip. He pointed it up at the joints of the arms, waiting until he thought GIR would pass by to fire it off.  
  
The laser sliced through the wires of the arm holding Dib, sending the entire thing flying through the front wall of the house from the sheer force of the momentum. The giant mechanical arm flew through the air to the middle of the street, landing squarely on top of Dib since it was still holding him fast. It stood horizontally for a moment before it fell to the other side of the street, crushing a building underneath the weight.  
  
Dib groaned and tried to pry the fingers of the arm off of him while Zim stared angrily. "Great, that'll be nearly impossible to hide from the human... alien stopper people!" He clenched his fist and looked up at GIR, who seemed to be gaining more and more control each moment. "GIR! I command you to stop and deactivate this instant!"  
  
"Wheeeeeeeee!" GIR screamed as the energy from the house was suddenly sucked into the one mechanical arm, seeping all the power from the house. The lights and other electrical appliances went out as the mechanical arm pulled itself out of the ceiling, the wires and metal plating almost seeming to rearrange itself, pulling GIR's body into it.  
  
"GIR! I ordered you to... PUH!" One thick wire slammed into Zim's stomach, sending him flying back into the kitchen. He slammed into the side of the counter with enough force to crash right through it, landing under the sink. He growled and dug himself out, running back into the living room. He gasped nd stared up at a giant metal figure. "GIR!"  
  
"Wheeeee!" The metal plates and wires of the arm had reformed into a much bigger sized GIR, though it was still the old GIR's head on its shoulders. Its eyes were now disks that spin in stripes of red and pink, more steady than it had been. It held Gaz in one fist, who was still smoking from the power that had been surging though her constantly for several minutes.  
  
"When I get free, someone is dead..." Gaz said, struggling against the fist that held her tight.  
  
"GIR, destroy her and then Dib, and then the city, the state, the country, and then the world!" Zim demanded.  
  
"Let's get something to eat!" GIR looked down at Gaz, his eyes spinning slightly faster. He turned and broke through the front wall where the metallic arm had missed previously, running down the street with Gaz still clutched in his hand. Zim ran outside and stared after him angrily.  
  
"No GIR, DESTROY not DATE!" Zim growled in frustration, yanking on his antennae and clenching his eyes shut.  
  
"Well great plan you had this time Zim." Dib's voice mocked from the side. "Why didn't you just fly into a military base and tell the president what you are, would have been less obvious!"  
  
"You shut your hole Dib!" Zim demanded, grabbing the scruff of his shirt and yanking him close. "Why shouldn't I just destroy you right now!?"  
  
"Because the entire city is watching!" Dib shot back. Zim paused and cast a glance to the side, seeing easily several dozen people looking on in awestruck wonder. He looked to the other side to see even more, and ahead of him several people were climbing out of the rubble, also staring at him. He shoved Dib to the ground and bolted back toward his house, disappearing inside of it.  
  
"You can't hide now Zim! Everyone knows what you are!" Dib laughed maniacally, climbing to his feet moving toward the house in a victory strut. "I won, your secret's out! They'll probably be here any minute to take you to a top-secret lab and tear your organs out! And I'll be there laughing... and..." Dib trailed off as the top of the house split in half, opening up to reveal Zim's personal space ship, the Voot Runner.  
  
"I'm not going without taking you with me my adversary!" Zim's voice resounded from a speaker as a rather large laser rifle jutted from the front of the Voot Runner, pointing straight down at Dib.  
  
"Uh... heh... heh?" Dib whirled and ran just as the cannon fired one shot, tearing a crate into the ground where he had been standing moments before. The ship took off and followed right behind him, leaving a trail of smoke as it pursued Dib through the streets. "Aren't you supposed to phone home now or something!?" He screamed, dodging several more blasts just barely in time.  
  
"Phone mommy miserable human filth! Mwahahahahaha!" Zim laughed as he rained down more gunfire from the ship, trying to hit the furiously running and dodging Dib.  
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Gaz had managed to pry her arms out of GIR's fist, but she was still stuck there. So she leaned against the top of one finger, tapping her own fingers restlessly against the cold hard metal as GIR skipped down the street, looking for something.  
  
"Where do you want to eat?" GIR asked her, lifting her so her face was level with his. She stared at him angrily, scratching her nails against his hand though it didn't hurt him at all.  
  
"How about putting me down?" She told him.  
  
"But anywhere you want to go, I want this to be YOUR meal, and we can both eat your meal and both... um... be eating." GIR said.  
  
"Ugh... My first crush and it's a robot..." Gaz sighed, looking around at the buildings are with little interest until she saw a pizza place across the street, her eyes going wide. Immediately the pointed toward it. "Over there!" She demanded with a sudden enthusiasm she rarely showed.  
  
"Wheeeee!" GIR leapt over the street, obviously enjoying its newfound mobility as it ran up to the building. It reached down and yanked the roof off, stepping inside and lowering Gaz down to the level of the guy behind the counter, who was staring with wide eyes.  
  
"A large pepperoni, and if I see any vegetables, you will wish I killed you quickly." She told the man, standing up on the top of GIR's palm. The man quickly ran into the back, then ran up to her, handing her a box without a word. "That is all, you may go." She sat down on GIR's hand and opened the box as the now large robot got up and jumped out of the building again, putting the roof back on.  
  
"Pizza!" GIR exclaimed, reaching up with two fingers to grab a slice and take a bite. Gaz looked up at him, then down at the rest of the pizza as she took a bite of her own slice.  
  
"You're not so bad for an idiot." She told him, taking a moment to saver the taste in her mouth. GIR let out a happy squeal, grinning and staring down at her with almost completely pink eyes. "I'm getting bored, take me somewhere there are games." She demanded.  
  
"Okay!" GIR took off down the street at a run, jarring Gaz somewhat as she tried to enjoy her pizza but she managed to hang on. This wasn't as bad as she'd thought, she could get to enjoy this actually.  
  
Within minutes she found herself sitting on a building with the pizza beside her and a kind of game controller in her hands with an antenna on top. She pressed the buttons and controls happily with something almost resembling a smile on her face.  
  
"Now THIS... is a game." She remarked, watching as GIR ran through the street far below her, kicking cars and people out of the way as she controlled it from the roof. She grabbed a slice of pizza and stuck it in her mouth, chewing on it while she kicked a police car aside when it tried to stop the rampaging robot.  
  
"Woohoooheeeee!" GIR exclaimed happily, letting Gaz make him do whatever she wanted. He seemed happy enough, squealing in delight every time he sent a car flying or a couple people go run screaming. His eyes were glowing bright red and pink and his mouth was pulled back in a wide grin, yelling and whistling in delight.  
  
"Halt or we will be forced to open fire!" Several police cars drove up and parked further down the street, a dozen or so officers getting out and training their guns on the robot.  
  
"Hey, level two." Gaz commented, turning GIR to charge toward them. He laughed and let out a playful roar as his body ripped through the cars, sending them and bodies flying every which way. Gaz's eyes were practically shining as she watched the carnage, almost eerily happy.  
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Dib's breath came in short gasps as he dodged yet another in a ceaseless rain of fire from Zim's ship. He darted to the side, running down a thin alleyway with his legs and arms pumping as fast as they could. The ship hovered just outside the alley, firing into it randomly, hitting walls and the floor nearly everywhere.  
  
"You're not getting away from me Dib!" Zim yelled, taking his ship up over the two buildings, casting a shadow over the alley as he flew to the other side. Dib lunged out of the alley just before the ship cleared the buildings, going into a nosedive after him. "Prepare to be crushed under the fist of your ruler human! MWAAHAHAAHAHAHA!"  
  
Dib ran down the street as fast as he could, the ship changing course to stay on him. The guns fired, but they couldn't get a steady lock on a moving target too well. Its shadow grew over Dib as it drew ever closer, nearly right on top of him when it came within feet of the ground. Dib leapt in the air and landed face first on the pavement, flattening himself down. The ship passed mere inches over him, scraping against the street in a shower of sparks.  
  
"Accursed human! I will destroy you once and for all right... NAAAAHHHHH!" Zim let out a shocked scream as his ship slammed into the large, metallic form of GIR who was trying to eat a cop car, but failing due to his small mouth. The ship tore right through its chest, sending the alien craft plummeting to the ground in a spiral. It hit the ground hard, skipping like a stone across water.  
  
GIR let out a sharp howl as his new suit of armor began to malfunction, sending surges of immense power running through him for the second time that day. His eyes pulsed brightly in a mish mash of red, pink and blue before it was rocketed from the suit straight into the air, smoking like a piece of toast ejected from a toaster.  
  
He flew through the air to slam into the roof beside Gaz, who looked down at him blankly. She looked down at the control and tried to push a few buttons, but GIR didn't move at all. "Crap, that figures, get to the second level and the batteries die." She growled deep in her throat, getting up and staking off. "Wonder if there's a way off this roof..."  
  
Zim yelped as the Voot Runner skidded to a stop, sending him flying out through the broken windshield to slam into the ground, rolling a few feet. He moaned and pushed himself up to his hands and knees, looking around to survey the damage. The body GIR had been using lay on the ground with no sign of GIR. The Voot Runner looked damaged beyond repair, lying on the ground. Without it... he had no way to leave this miserable planet.  
  
"Your reign of terror is over Zim!" Zim whirled to see Dib running up to him with a triumphant grin on his face. "You're out here with no disguise, and your technology is strewn all over the place! Somebody HAS to notice you're not human now!"  
  
"I will never be taken by you primitive human-filth!" Zim reached down and clasped his beacon. "GIR! I need you, get down here right now!" He yelled furiously, staring down Dib.  
  
On the roof, GIR twitched as a surge of power ran through it, signaled by the radio communication. "GIR I said get down here!" GIR's systems jump-started on the second one and it leapt to its feet, its eyes glowing a light blue as it ran to the edge of the building.  
  
"I'm coming!" It yelled, leaping off the roof and hurtling down toward the ground. Zim and Dib both watched it plummet to the ground, not showing any signs of flight or rockets. They both scrambled out of the way before the small hunk of metal slammed into the pavement, digging a three-foot deep crater in the middle of the street in a cloud of smoke.  
  
"Come on GIR, under the cover of the smoke, let's get out of here!" Zim grabbed the little robot and hauled it out of the crater, pulling it along as he ran back toward their house.  
  
"There's nowhere to run Zim! We have your ship now! Just give up already!" Dib shouted, reluctantly giving chase though he'd been running for thirty minutes straight already and was very tired. The alien ran through the streets, hauling his sidekick behind him and pumping his legs as fast as he could.  
  
When he reached his place he found it swarming with police and firefighters, as well as dozens upon dozens of spectators. "NO! We've come too far to fail!" Zim screamed in anguish. Several people whirled to stare at him as Dib ran up behind him, grabbing his arms and twisting them behind his back.  
  
"There's no escape this time Zim! Haha! I beat you! I stopped the alien invasion! Yes! I have proof of alien life! Hey guys, over here! I have someone for you to arrest!" Dib shouted, dragging Zim toward the cops.  
  
"Unhand me Dib! Or else I will wreak unspeakable tortures upon you!" Zim shouted, trying to break few.  
  
"Hey, let go of him Dib!" One kid shouted angrily.  
  
"What!? But look at him! He's an alien!" Dib exclaimed.  
  
"Nice costume Zim, a little early though." Another kid said. Zim blinked, then looked down at his body, remembering what day it was. October 20th, only a few days before these humans' Halloween.  
  
"Yes, it is a very good COSTUME isn't it? Fooled Dib completely!" Zim yanked his arms free while Dib was busy gaping in awestruck horror. He stepped back, smirking and glaring at the shocked boy maliciously.  
  
"But... but what about the giant mechanical arm buried in the building over there that came from HIS house!?" Dib screamed, pointing to the wrecked building with the arm still buried in it. Everyone turned to stare at Zim, who looked around a bit nervously.  
  
"A... personal... fun ride that... messed up?" Zim suggested. Everyone stared at him for a moment, then shrugged and turned back to Dib.  
  
"What about THAT huh!? How many living cyborgs do you know!?" Dib jerked his finger at GIR, who was standing in place looking around at everyone. Zim could tell the surge from the robot had fried the alteration's he'd made to GIR's systems. He was back to normal, though a bit more confused than normal. The audience turned back to Zim expectantly.  
  
"... A puppet." Zim picked up GIR and put a hand o the back of his head. GIR squealed and laughed in delight, with Zim mimicking it a moment later like he'd spoken it.  
  
"Oh come on, that is so lame!" Dib exclaimed. Still the audience exchanged glances and shrugged with murmurs of acceptance, turning back to Dib for any further arguments. "Okay, okay, what about the giant mechanical suit of armor and the pint sized spacecraft made with alien technology sitting only four blocks away from here!?" He demanded.  
  
Zim reached down and touched a button on his wrist. A powerful explosion knocked several people to the ground, sending nearly everyone tumbling off balance. "What alien technology?" Zim smiled innocently, looking around. Dib glared at him in shocked surprise.  
  
"You destroyed your own ship!? But you're stranded here now!" Dib exclaimed. "Come on look at the guy! That's no costume! He's trying to take over the human race!" Dib pleaded with the others, but they brushed him off with grunts as several guys started trying to haul the mechanical arm back into Zim's house. "That's alien technology! Is everyone in this city stupid!?"  
  
"Yes." Zim hissed in his ear from behind, making him freeze. "You're going to pay for this one Dib, I've never liked you but destroying my ship is going too far! This means war, human!"  
  
"You're the one who started it by sending your little robot after me, and you're the one who crashed your stupid ship!" Dib exclaimed.  
  
"Oh you shut up!" Zim demanded. "I've had enough of your filthy-human head interfering in my business! From now on, I won't leave you to a moments rest! My new mission, is to make your life miserable... and THEN take over your world! Mwahahahahaha!" Zim paused when he realized he'd been yelling this whole time, and everyone gathered around was staring at him. "Just... getting in character... as an alien... heh heh..."  
  
"You see!? He's plotting to take over the world!" Dib exclaimed. Everyone watched them, then shrugged again and started to leave, the cleanup being left for the construction crews. "RAAAGH! IDIOTS!" He screamed in frustration, yanking on his hair.  
  
"I have to rebuild my house, I'll see you around... Dib." Zim hissed, carrying GIR back toward the house and heading inside, closing the door behind him despite the gigantic holes in the front walls. Dib screamed a curse at the people who were still hauling the mechanical arm to Zim's house, screaming at random and generally throwing a fit at being so close, and having all the evidence in the world, but still not being believed.  
________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Gaz stood on the edge of the roof, staring down at the ground far below. She'd looked all around the roof, but there were no ladders or fire escapes she could use to get down. GIR had carried her up, but it didn't look like there was a way to leave. So she shook her head and sat on the edge, staring down at the people far below, who looked a lot like ants running around an anthill.  
  
She brought her hand up and formed it into a gun-like shape, holding the bottom of that hand with her other hand. She made gunshot noises as she aimed at the little antlike figures, entertaining herself as the sun began to set with no sign of help. Oh well, she didn't need anybody. Just herself and her game, whatever game that was.  
  
THE END 


End file.
